Jokes, funny stories, etc. http://dating.blameitonlove.com/list.php?15 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 21:25:57 -0700 Phorum 5.2-dev http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8586,8586#msg-8586 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8586,8586#msg-8586 Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/sumerians-look-on-in-confusion-as-god-creates-worl,2879/]]> eeek Humor Sun, 05 Sep 2010 14:35:58 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8570,8570#msg-8570 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8570,8570#msg-8570 ]]> eeek Humor Tue, 15 Jun 2010 14:39:07 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8564,8564#msg-8564 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8564,8564#msg-8564 ]]> eeek Humor Tue, 01 Jun 2010 13:22:03 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8562,8562#msg-8562 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8562,8562#msg-8562
]]> eeek Humor Mon, 31 May 2010 14:34:27 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8556,8556#msg-8556 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8556,8556#msg-8556 ]]> eeek Humor Tue, 25 May 2010 16:17:58 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8555,8555#msg-8555 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8555,8555#msg-8555 ]]> eeek Humor Mon, 24 May 2010 15:26:43 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8548,8548#msg-8548 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8548,8548#msg-8548
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.]]> eeek Humor Thu, 15 Apr 2010 19:36:23 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8547,8547#msg-8547 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8547,8547#msg-8547
The little girl asked her mom why she cut off the ends of the roast. Mom replied, after some thought, that it was the way that her mother had done it.

That night grandma came to dinner and the little girl and her mom went to her and asked why she had cut the end off of the roast before cooking. After some thought grandma replied, that was the way her mother had done it.

Now great grandmother was quite old and in a nursing home. But the little girl went with her mom and grandma to see her and again asked the question.

Grandma looked at them a bit annoyed and said, "So it would fit in the pan, of course."]]> eeek Humor Thu, 15 Apr 2010 06:42:54 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8537,8537#msg-8537 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8537,8537#msg-8537 ]]> eeek Humor Sat, 27 Mar 2010 14:23:56 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8534,8534#msg-8534 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8534,8534#msg-8534
]]> eeek Humor Mon, 22 Mar 2010 16:54:03 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8522,8522#msg-8522 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8522,8522#msg-8522
]]> eeek Humor Sat, 06 Mar 2010 02:37:38 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8519,8519#msg-8519 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8519,8519#msg-8519 http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/astronomer_discovers_black_0]]> eeek Humor Tue, 02 Mar 2010 17:36:45 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8510,8510#msg-8510 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8510,8510#msg-8510 ]]> eeek Humor Sat, 20 Feb 2010 02:32:16 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8507,8507#msg-8507 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8507,8507#msg-8507
]]> eeek Humor Wed, 17 Feb 2010 12:12:12 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8505,8505#msg-8505 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8505,8505#msg-8505
A: A rumor]]> eeek Humor Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:30:57 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8479,8479#msg-8479 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8479,8479#msg-8479 ]]> eeek Humor Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:14:58 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8477,8477#msg-8477 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8477,8477#msg-8477 LOUISVILLE, KY—At first glance, high school senior Lucas Faber, 18, seems like any ordinary gay teen. He's a member of his school's swing choir, enjoys shopping at the mall, and has sex with other males his age. But lately, a growing worry has begun to plague this young gay man. A gnawing feeling that, deep down, he may be a fundamentalist, right-wing Christian.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/gay_teen_worried_he_might_be?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter]]> eeek Humor Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:17:11 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8475,8475#msg-8475 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8475,8475#msg-8475 ]]> eeek Humor Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:52:27 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8458,8458#msg-8458 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8458,8458#msg-8458 ]]> eeek Humor Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:29:34 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8450,8450#msg-8450 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8450,8450#msg-8450 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe)

50F 10C 283K
Miami residents turn on the heat (if they have a heating system)

40F 4C 277K
* You can see your breath
* Californians shiver uncontrollably
* Minnesotans go swimming

35F 2C 275K
Italian cars don't start

32F 0C 273K
Water freezes

30F -1C 272K
* You plan your vacation to Australia
* Minnesotans put on T-shirts
* Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
* British cars don't start
* Your boogers freeze

25F -4C 269K
* Boston water freezes
* Californians weep pitiably
* Minnesotans eat ice cream
* Canadians go swimming

20F -7C 266K
* You can hear your breath
* Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
* New York City water freezes
* Miami residents plan vacation further south

15F -9C 264K
* French cars don't start
* You plan a vacation in Mexico
* Cat insists on sleeping in bed with you

10F -12C 261K
* Too cold to ski
* You need jumper cables to get the car going

5F -15C 258K
* You plan your vacation in Houston
* American cars don't start

0F -18C 255K
* Alaskans put on T-shirts
* Too cold to skate

-10F -23C 250K
* German cars don't start
* Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15F -26C 247K
* You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
* Arkansas stick tongue on metal objects
* Miami residents cease to exist

-20F -29C 244K
* Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
* Politicians actually do something about the homeless
* Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
* Japanese cars don't start

-25F -32C 241K
* Too cold to think
* You need jumper cables to get the driver going

-30F -34C 239K
* You plan a two week hot bath
* The Mighty Mongahela freezes
* Sweedish cars don't start

-40F -40C 233K
* Californians disappear
* Minnesotan button top button
* Canadians put on sweaters
* Your car helps you plan your trip South

-50F -46C 237K
* Congressional hot air freezes
* Alaskans close the bathroom window

-80F -62C 211K
* Hell freezes over
* Polar bears move south]]> eeek Humor Sat, 02 Jan 2010 00:42:43 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8446,8446#msg-8446 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8446,8446#msg-8446 ]]> eeek Humor Sat, 26 Dec 2009 14:58:41 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8434,8434#msg-8434 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8434,8434#msg-8434
http://itmanagement.earthweb.com/cnews/article.php/3849381/]]> eeek Humor Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:01:26 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8405,8405#msg-8405 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8405,8405#msg-8405 http://www.theonion.com/content/video/zombie_reagan_raised_from_grave]]> eeek Humor Mon, 30 Nov 2009 15:32:22 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8399,8399#msg-8399 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8399,8399#msg-8399
]]> eeek Humor Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:43:09 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8365,8365#msg-8365 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8365,8365#msg-8365
http://yosemitenews.info/am/B00032G1S0

:roll2:]]> eeek Humor Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:50:10 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8351,8351#msg-8351 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8351,8351#msg-8351 ]]> eeek Humor Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:33:26 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8347,8347#msg-8347 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8347,8347#msg-8347 WASHINGTON—According to an FCC report released Monday, a new $300 million Microsoft ad campaign is responsible for causing televisions all across the country to unexpectedly crash.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/microsoft_ad_campaign_crashing]]> eeek Humor Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:30:06 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8346,8346#msg-8346 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8346,8346#msg-8346 http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/overburdened_dept_of_health]]> eeek Humor Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:24:34 -0800 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8331,8331#msg-8331 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8331,8331#msg-8331 ]]> eeek Humor Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:16:59 -0700 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8325,8325#msg-8325 http://dating.blameitonlove.com/read.php?15,8325,8325#msg-8325
]]> eeek Humor Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:53:43 -0700