|Height: 5' 9"|
|Body Type: Slender||Eyes: Blue|
|Ethnicity: Decline To State||Married: Decline To State|
|City: COSTA MESA State: CA||Religion: Decline To State|
|Looking for: Decline to State||Drink: Decline to State|
|Smoke Pot: Decline To State|
|[i]Quick to Laugh, Slow to Anger, Easy to Please. Hard to Impress.|
You know it's funny as I feel we have lost a lot of what used to be considered important in life. I believe my word and my honor still mean a lot to me. And I will not compromise either for anything on this earth. In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle that inner spirit. It is never too late to live and always too early to die!
W A R N I N G!! DANGER !! DANGER!! This is a LONG, long profile... If you have a heart condition or suffer from asthma, you lack in patience, you are stuck in a burning building, you should probably skip this one! (long sigh)
For gawds sakes... If a gal is bi-polar, on meds for depression, seeing a shrink, (or just plain crazy as a loon) her lunatic axe murderer ex-husband just escaped from prison (or SHE just escaped from prison)... (AND YES ! I will check for dirt under your fingernails as signs you just tunneled your way out! so at LEAST wash your "D A M N" hands girl !!! LMAO !!! ) OR ... long sigh.... She dated some bank robber boy... And about that robber boy thing... (rolls eyes....) You KNOW that doesn't mean I don't LOVE YA GINA!!!! (grin) You KNOW I DO !!
Now THAT GAL!!! Looks at my profile and pushes her chair away from the PC... jumps up... knocking her beer off the desk, covers her mouth with one hand, and points at the PC and screams out loud !!!!
MOMMA !!! THAT'S HIM !! WAHOO! THAT'S MY MAN!
This is getting crazy! Darlin these are no longer Plentyoffish dates. (wink) They are now PLENTYOFFISH ENCOUNTERS! (grin) I swear... LOL! I mean... ya gotta know I am DYEING laughing as I write this but I am getting skeered!!! (smile) I have a gal buddy back in Philly from POF named Andee, She's a sweetie....and I told her about my latest one on here. And she said "Uhhh... You do know what your problem is right Cowboy??? YOU HAVE NO WARNING LIGHTS BOY! Nothing that tells you to PULL OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!" "You can't hear the voices in your head yelling DANGER WILL ROBINSON !! DANGER DANGER!!" (wink) Andee and me are just "buddies" but she is threatening to fly here from Philly and rollup a newspaper, spank my butt, and make me sleep in the garage if I don't straighten up I swear!!! AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A GARAGE!! LMAO!!
My life is crazy... (rolls eyes...) My close friends are probably 1-pill outside an institution, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love them all!
I'm all contradictions. I'm probably the bad boy your momma tried to warn you about... (wink) And the good husband/father you always dreamed of...
The ornery barefoot boy next door you always wanted to sneak down to the creek and go smooching with when momma wasn't looking.. A southern gentlemen that still opens doors and pulls out chairs. I still say "Yes Ma'am" and "No Sir". My momma raised me right. I live in mortal fear, to this day, that my tiny 4'10" mom will come up out of the grave and beat my skinny butt with a ping-pong paddle if I do not open a door for a lady ! (grin)
Come hold my hand on this journey we call life.
Always remember this... You can't change the direction of the winds in your life... but you can adjust the sails to point ya in the direction you want to go. (smile)
xxxx's & oooo's
P.S. Crap... lets try this ONE MORE TIME... (rolls eyes) OMG !!!! I keep having gals ask what I am searching for ???
For the love of gawd! COME ON NOW! This isn't as hard as y'all are making this! We are ALL looking for the same thing. (rolls eyes again...OK lets roll those eyes TWICE for extra effect) I mean really !!! (wink) Let's try and cut through the B.S. here for just a minute OK? I was gonna say to close your eyes and read the next section but that won't work will it? (grin) You would be lost trying to read with your eyes closed! (wink) So I guess I'll have to read it for ya... Listen up !!! follow along! Can you hear me now??? (smile) TURN UP YOUR SPEAKERS!!! Have you ever snuck out ten minutes early from work? Drove home at illegal speeds? (grin) To skid into the driveway of your house sideways like a Nascar driver, tires a squealing... knowing that your "better half" was pacing back and forth peeking out of that front window, every 10 seconds... waiting to hear the sound of your car FINALLY hit that driveway?
Because they CAN'T WAIT to be in your arms again! They waited all day to feel your arms embrace them. To just wrap their legs around you in a kiss that never ends... (long sigh) Now THATâS what I search for.
Now if you REALLY think you can curl my toes in cowboy boots on the first kiss, then you need to drop me a line here sweetheart. (wink)
I NEED SOMEONE WITH A BACKYARD SO I CAN COOK! LOL! I'll bring the food and the grill! (smile) You gotta bring the crazy friends! (long sigh) I swear finding a good gal these days is harder then nailing jelly to a tree.
I am VERY sorry to announce that I will no longer be responding to profiles without pictures.. NOT ONLY BECAUSE I'M SHALLOW (wink) But I also wanna make sure I've not seen your mug shots on Americas Most Wanted! (LOL)
Now... with so many of you gals complaining about the LONG profile, I am now offering prizes to all those that have managed to read all the way to the bottom without napping. (wink)
Write me and just tell me you want to collect your prize. (long sigh)
Ok Ok Ok !! ENOUGH ALREADY ! I am only going to say this ONE TIME ! So let me make this VERY VERY clear ! LISTEN UP!!! In response to multiple people that have now asked the same EXACT question (you guys are very sick puppies btw...) Look I am REALLY SORRY but... There are NO CASH PRIZES! OK ??? LOL ! So PUHLEEZE just QUIT ASKING FOR CASH! (Long Sigh....) I swear... the things a guy has to do on here to get a date anymore...
AND!!! LOL Way too many of you gals have asked if I have a frickin web cam? Whats up with that nonsense anyway ??? LOL!
Ok well the answer is "Yes"..... But I need a valid credit card authorization before I turn it on... (wink) Geez and I thought I was a perv.... LOL !!! Skeered to even see what you ask for next ??? You gals make me blush over some of the prizes you've requested! LOL
Look I am REALLY 5'9" barefoot and 140 lbs naked. And NO !! Your not getting to weigh me for your prize! (rolls eyes...) LOL What is wrong with you ladies !!! And I am using that term very loosely here ! (wink)
BTW... All spelling errors are made intentionally for verification purposes, so that you know this text was really written by me! (wink)